3 Steps to Mental Clarity

I most recently posted on Instagram about how I have started a mental journey of cleansing. This cleansing process entails a few things that I would like to discuss today in hopes that I can inspire and motivate you to take the same journey. I believe this journey will be beneficial for anyone to begin, reason being that over the years, we all build up a bunch of beliefs that might have been helpful at one time in our life, but aren’t necessarily helpful in the present time. Or sometimes we develop beliefs that have never been helpful or supportive to us. A personal example of this idea would be my belief that I developed in High School, that being skinny equals being acceptable and beautiful. Because I had that core belief about beauty, I was never happy with my body unless I was bone thin. That belief also drove me to develop an unhealthy relationship with food. It wasn’t until years after graduating High School that I realized the truth of my problem. A healthy calorie intake every single day wouldn’t fix me, changing my belief about beauty would change me. The trick with all of this is learning how to become aware of our own beliefs so that we can ultimately change them, if needed.

Becoming Aware of our Beliefs

Alright, so here comes, what I feel, is the hardest part of the journey. Learning to become in tune and aware of our beliefs. I think the first step in coming to an awareness is learning how to listen to our thoughts. Truly listen to what we are thinking and noticing when a certain thought leads us to feelings of negativity. Here is a great example of this process. I heard this example while listening to a Tiffany Han podcast while she interviewed a woman named Lacy Young. I have had the exact same belief in the past so I really related to what Lacy expressed and will share a summarized version as follows:

I have a lot of friends who work out at the gym, which is super great for them but I’m just not a gym person. In the past, I would see a picture of them working out at the gym and I would have the thought ‘I don’t go to the gym,’ which would then be followed by the thought, ‘I won’t ever have a fit body.’ I would then start feeling and thinking negative things about my body image.

Did you catch mine and Lacy’s underlying belief there? Essentially we believed, “I can only have a fit body if I have a gym pass,” which really isn’t true. I can have a fit body in a number of different ways. For whatever reason, I don’t like the gym and I shouldn’t have to feel bad about that. I can still be a happy person just because I don’t like the gym. I don’t need to feel bad about myself and believe that I’m a fat person. You guys, this process happens all of the time within the walls of our minds. An idea will come to our attention, either organically developed through an experience or through another person’s opinion, and in that moment we have the choice to let that idea become a belief or let that idea blow away. Sometimes we encounter a really persuasive person and all of the sudden we start to feel like we aren’t living our life right anymore, am I right? I mean, who’s ever been to Sephora and conversed with a makeup expert there? I always leave believing that my skin NEEDS these specific products and that without them I won’t have beautiful and healthy skin. The point is, we all have developed beliefs that aren’t serving us anymore and might be weighing us down from enjoying a life free of negativity.

What I’m starting to learn is that we have to actively decide what we will and won’t allow inside of our little “belief” section of our minds. It’s just too darn easy to just consume whatever is being fed to us through our lit up screens without really being an active participant in that consuming. You feel me?

Another way to start to become aware of our beliefs is to observe the words that come out of our mouths. Really be aware of those words because our words are the puzzle pieces to our inner beliefs. A simple example might be, “That stupid idiot driver made me so mad today.” I know that I’ve been guilty of that sentence many a time in my lifetime. So what belief is linked with that sentence? I’m basically saying that my emotions are tied to outside influences that I can’t control. Wow, that’s going to be a disaster if I keep that belief up my entire life. I will be basing my emotional well-being on things that are completely out of my control. Not a good belief to have.

It will take patience and diligence in trying to figure out your inner beliefs, but it is worth the effort because the pay off equals freedom of unnecessary stress and burden. For me, I am looking forward to inner peace and the ability to only focus on thoughts that are relevant to my true desires. I know that I’ve spent too much time focusing on irrelevant matters that aren’t helping me to have joy and fulfillment in my life. Goodbye false & useless beliefs!

We Have Desires for a Reason

Ok, so once you’ve started the process of weeding out false and irrelevant beliefs, it is now the time to focus on figuring out your TRUE desires. As I talked about in a recent post about my personality,  I am a major idealist and dreamer. I have all of these bottled up desires and hopes and I catch myself pushing them away because I feel like I shouldn’t have them or am incapable of achieving them. That is a FALSE belief, by the way. I truly believe, and I will hold on to this belief forever, that we have our desires for a reason. Our desires are what motivate us to work hard, educate ourselves, meet new people, stretch ourselves. I believe that our desires are the means by which God can help us accomplish greatness in our lives. They are the core of who they are, rooted deep inside our hearts, and when we don’t act according to our desires, it is almost as if we are betraying ourselves. Now, with that said, I don’t think all desires are good but I believe that we are capable of refining and molding all desires into something good and pure, the way that they were always meant to be.

For example, one might have a desire to be an independent business owner so as to provide for their family and to become financially free. This is a good desire. However, for whatever reason, that pure desire might turn to greed. A desire for money and influence might start masking the once true and original desire. Because of this potential, it is important to figure out your pure and honest desires. Those desire are there for a reason. It might look like those desires are impossible to achieve, but do not tell yourself that you are dumb for wanting it. For example, I have always had a desire to be a musician. When I was little, I would write songs on the piano and submit them in contests at my school. I would win little awards for it and I felt so accomplished and happy. Somewhere along the way I have let that desire be swept under the rug, so to speak, and feel like I could never become a musician because I’m not “good enough.” Because I believe I’m not good enough, I’m not pursuing it, and as a result I feel like I’m not fulfilling my potential and I feel unhappy at times.

So what I am saying is to figure out what your true desires are and trust them, believe in them. Don’t push them away. Don’t be frightened by them. They are there for a reason, and it’s important that we acknowledge them and embrace them.

Draw Your Desires to You

The last thing I want to cover is learning how to draw your desires to you. This might sound a little mystical, but lets face it, I am a mystic (haha), and I truly believe that what you visualize and think about creates your reality.  Positive energy attracts positive energy. Negative energy attracts negative energy. I believe all of those things. In order for visualizing to really work, you have to believe that it will work and that you deserve these good things in your life. Something that I really liked from Lucy Young’s podcast was her saying,

“Don’t worry about the how, it will happen. Just focus on your intent & stay connected to how it feels to want it. It will happen. Trust that it will come.”

If you have always had a desire to take a trip to Europe, picture yourself there. Stay connected to that feeling and desire. It will happen eventually. The how will work itself out. People and things and opportunities will be drawn to you and your life will suddenly be working out for your good and benefit. Honestly I can say that this has been true in my life! I’ve been wanting to connect with different bloggers in my community and have had that desire for some time and it has been amazing to see people and opportunities start to come into my life. When I have chosen to focus and think about what I really want, things will happen. Try it in your own life! I’m not saying that it will happen in the way that you expect it to happen & I’m not saying you can just sit there and wait for it to happen. But I am saying that if you want something bad enough, it will come to you. I mean, what does Jesus teach us about faith? We can literally do and have anything when we ask in faith. I believe that when we are following true & honest desires (key words there), we are capable of having those true & honest desires through our faith.

This is such a freeing and enabling knowledge to have! How many times have I gone to church and learned about faith but failed to really exercise it in my life. I don’t think faith is ONLY to be used in spiritual matters, I think it can be used in ANYTHING in our lives. Why not? Why wouldn’t God want us to succeed and accomplish the desires in our heart? He does, and He will.

In a Nutshell…

Here’s the 3 takeaways from my long insight I have just disclosed:

1. Figure out your beliefs.
2. Figure out your true & honest desires.
3. Draw it to you.

Challenge Time, if you are up for it: Re-write 2 aspects of your life, whether it be relationship, work, habits, hobbies, etc., and re-write them until they feel good and more aligned with your desires. Simply put, if your relationship with your spouse isn’t the way you desire it to be, well how would you want it to be? Visualize it and believe that it can become that way.

I hope that this post was helpful. I know that I am still learning and trying to figure out how to make these mental changes but I really do want to see improvement in my life. Please comment and keep me updated on your journey’s & how you’ve been able to overcome mental obstacles in your life. I would love to hear from your experiences! Thanks for reading, I know it was a lengthy one. 🙂

xoxo